We get as far in our spiritual life
as we get in our relationship
with our mother - Dharma Master Hua

The hitchhiker made me think
of a leprechaun
something in the eyes
the way he smiled
as we picked him up and again
as we let him off
leaving he thanked us
dipping casually into a small
bag of clear plastic
full of what looked
like white sugar
and handed us
me and my brother John
about a teaspoon each
pure mescaline he told us
and it being nineteen-seventy
and we still in our twenties
believed him
thought let's try it
this may be our only chance

Later on
while I was floating free
of any sense of self
I spent an hour among
my family and saw
my parents
grandparents
my aunts and uncles
as a clan of silverbacks
amazing animals
but are they safe
living like this
out in the wild?
perhaps a zoo
would be a better option

Then my mother took me
on a visit
an older couple
she was helping
they were staying
in a poorly furnished trailer
on the wall
a cheap print
showed a viking ship
its bright sail set
against a dark and threatening ocean
my mother stood beside it
in that moment
I knew the source
of her broad shoulders
stoic stance
the force
behind her eyes
as if she'd gazed
on North Atlantic swells
for generations

I thought
this woman was my passage
into a human life
possibly the only life
I'll ever have
to honor her is just
the least that I can do
if I am to become
fully human at last
nothing profound about this
yet I'd never before
felt the truth of this so deeply
just another moment
passing quickly
changing everything